Memorable Quotes by Sandy Cohen during Season 1
Memorable quotes from the Miami Mutilator Sandy Cohen during Season 1 of The O.C.. For quotes from other seasons, see Memorable Quotes by Sandy Cohen. The Model Home : Sandy: Since the minute you were born I knew I would never get thick skin. The Debut : Ryan: You just stabbed me again. : Sandy: Oh, sorry. : Sandy:I have annihilated all the other ninjas! The Gamble : Sandy: Well. I should be off. Gotta find the next kid to jeapordize the community. Maybe a black kid. Or an Asian kid. The Girlfriend : Sandy: Are we worried your dad won't love us if we don't feed him enough? : Kirsten: Alright, starting now, no more digs at my dad. : Sandy: Oh no, that wasn't a dig. Seth, was that a dig? : Seth: No. When you called him a heartless bastard, that was a dig. : Sandy: You sold me out. : Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend. : Sandy: Okay. Oh no, no wait. I can't. I'm still Jewish. Just gettin' it out of my system, I promise. : Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend's like. : Sandy: I am sure she is very well paid. : Kirsten gives him a look. : Sandy: I am on fire. The Escape : Kirsten: After 15 years? There's no way he's selling out. : Sandy: Well, it'd have to be one hell of a free meal. : Seth: And that's what they call a callback in comedy, Ryan. : Seth: This is gonna be awesome. : Sandy: She's hot stuff, son. : Seth: And now it's ruined. The Rescue : Kirsten: I'm sure she'll apologize. : Sandy: You are? This is Julie Cooper we're talking about. : Sandy: Well, this doesn't suck. : Sandy: If you can't tell your dad, who can you talk to? : Seth: Gee, I don't know. Ryan, Mom, that tree over there. : Sandy: You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. : Seth: When are you leaving? The Heights : Kirsten: Doesn't Seth look rad? : Sandy: Seth does look rad. Mad props, son. The Homecoming : Kirsten: You think Ryan's okay? : Sandy: I think he'll be okay. He needs to do this. : Kirsten: Okay. Let me get in there, do some flipping. : Sandy: No no! Honey, honey! Seth really likes corn. : Kirsten: How do you expect me to get better? : Sandy: I don't. I'm sorry, but I don't. I'm sorry, but the boys and I made a pact. : Kirsten: A pact? : Sandy: A solemn promise. : Kirsten: When? : Sandy: You were in the bathroom. : Sandy: So Anna, what's the deal? You're parents don't believe in celebrating the genocide of the American Indian? : Sandy: Look, Jimmy's a good guy. : Rachel: He's a thief. : Sandy: And you're a lawyer, so it's a perfect match. : Sandy: Ah! the gruesome twosome! The Secret : Sandy: And you're going to yogalates. : Kirsten: You just like saying that. : Sandy: Yogalates? Yeah, I kinda do. Yogalates? : Ryan: Yogalates. The Countdown : Sandy: She's either run out of money, or ... she's run out of money. : Sandy: GPS Lady says turn left, I'm going right! : Sandy: Sandy Cohen. Pleasure swinging with you. : Sandy: I should really learn how to knock. In case there's a threesome going on in my bedroom. The Third Wheel : Ryan: All her friends want to kick her ass. Sorry about the language. : Sandy: Why? I want to kick her ass. : Sandy: Hey, Connect Four was happening. It gets my blood up. The Links : Sandy: Oh god, the ugly Americans are coming back. : Kirsten: Pumpkin muffin? : Sandy: Yes, darling? The Truth : Sandy: The next time you feel like using your fists, you better open your mouth and talk. That's what I'm here for. : Julie: Hey, you guys wanna join us? We're celebrating my new position. : Sandy: Ohhh, not gonna touch that one. : Sandy: Give me the keys. Give me the keys. : Ryan: You said if I needed your help, I could come to you. : Sandy: Give me the keys... I'll drive. The Heartbreak : Seth: I need advice on girl stuff. : Sandy: You've come to the master. (Kirsten snickers) : Sandy: Hey, I got you. : Kirsten: Sometimes you make it so hard to hate you. : Sandy: I know! The Telenovela : Kirsten: He's a consultant. : Sandy: Could you be please be a little more vague? : Kirsten: He knows people. : Sandy: You did it! That was more vague! The Goodbye Girl : Sandy: Do you want to know what I think? : Ryan: You're going to tell me either way, right? : Sandy: Like my own son. : Sandy: I promise you, I'd rather send you to jail that get in bed with your father. The Proposal : Sandy: I like to anticipate the worst at all times. It's a Cohen family trait. : Kirsten: My dad is marrying Julie Cooper. : Sandy: Maybe you need another bottle. : Sandy: I had no choice. : Jimmy: You could have told me about Caleb and asked me to bow out. : Sandy: Like I said, I had no choice. : Sandy: That's the biggest you could do? As big as a badass like you? The Shower : Kirsten: So he bought your acceptance? : Sandy: At a really high price. : Kirsten: I have some concealer upstairs you can use. Works miracles. : Sandy: She's right. You should see her without it. Horrible. : Sandy: Don't try and fix this, kid. I'm your guardian and I get to call the shots. Now get out of the car. : Kirsten: I am never throwing another party again. : Sandy: Don't tease. The Strip : Sandy: So, Cay-Cay, what have you been doing all this time? : Sandy: According to Seth it is ground zero for aging hipsters like you. : Sandy: You might want to retract that. Because, according to you, Caleb's moving in. : Kirsten: There are four male strippers, dressed as firemen dancing in our living room. : Sandy: Theme-stripping. You gotta love that. : Kirsten: Oh, wait, now they're not dressed as anything at all. : Sandy: Try to keep them off of the furniture, honey. The Ties That Bind : Kirsten: A daughter wants her father to be happy on his wedding day. : Sandy: See, I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. : Sandy: So that's why you wanted us out of the restaurant. Why you snaky... not so successful son of a bitch. : Sandy: Denial is a very effective coping mechanism. : Sandy: Just because you're leaving doesn't mean I'm letting you go. : Sandy: Now, come on, get dressed. You're about to witness the most unholy of unions. : Sandy: And Kirsten's not even a hugger. Sandy